Okay so I was already in a bad mood today, for reasons I am not going to discuss, and my dad tells me that I should talk to my friends about the fact that they can't wear certain colognes in my house because it bothers both my parents (they get headaches and feel nauseous when around certain perfumes/colognes), he went as far as to say that if I didn't tell them then he would. I got kind of annoyed and said to please not do that. He later apologized and said that he was having a bad day at work and that he said I should just forget about it.
This should have been the end of things, but it wasn't.
When my friends arrived I pulled them aside and told them what my dad said. I got even more pissed off because I felt they were being a bit insensitive. I have complained about this issue to them before, this has been an ongoing issue with me and my parents for as long as I can remember, I can't shower at certain times of the day because of the smell and can't use heavily scented soaps, shampoos, or deodorants and can't put on cologne unless I am going out somewhere. My friends dismissed it as simply a bad smell, they compared it to not flushing the toilet after taking a dump. I don't think they realize how bad it actually makes my parents feel.
Anyway I was getting really pissed off and instead of calmly asking my dad to come out and talk to them I started yelling and cussing my dad out in front of them, my dad was able to hear it and needless to say he was not happy at all, I broke the promise I made earlier by not bringing it up. He later came out and talked to my friends about it. No one was mad or upset with me in any way, and me and my friends later recorded a badass song for our band. Everything was resolved, but I still felt bad.
Why am I still doing this? Why am I, a 21-year-old man, continuing to act like this? I thought this had all gone away, I thought I had learned other, more mature ways, of handling anger and being upset. Seems like most of my friends, who have gone through much worse shit with their families than I have, seem to have found ways of managing their anger, me I feel like I have taken a gazillion steps backwards since I graduated high school.
Maybe it's my medication, the lingering effects of the Prozac that I have yet to get out of my system. I stopped taking it in May but I was told it can take as long as 6 months before it is completely out of my system. *sigh*
This can't continue happening, I must find a mature way of coping with my anger if I have any hope of functioning in the working world. My friends have seen both the good and the bad sides of me. I hope that they will not hold this against me and continue to hang out with me and support me.
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